Creative Appraisal Definitions

While doodling through some phone calls, I found Appraisal Today's website. This is from their "humor" pages. We appraiser's, as you may have already surmised, don't get out much. Definitions below -- "The Ultimate Modern Appraiser" at right.......

Band of Investments - A group of financial officers who hold jam sessions in the back room of the NYSE.
Capitalization Rate - The number which is arrived at by dividing the number the client wants by the net operating income.
Eminent Domain - From the Latin. Eminent, meaning big, or prominent. Domain, meaning where one lives. Hence, a big house.
Fair Market Value - The value of items sold at a country fair.
Highest and Best Use - Whatever the person who is paying for the appraisal wants to do with the property.
Internal Rate of Return - An often used but seldom understood term of questionable meaning and doubtful significance. Also, the inverse of External Rate of Return.
Marginal Utility - Many appraisals.
Market Value - Formerly, one sentence which covered the bases pretty well. Now, a page of explanation, some of which appears to be contradictory and imprecise.
Depth Tables - Charts used by SCUBA divers and fishermen.
Purpose of the Appraisal - To make a living in the appraisal business.
Functional Obsolescence - That state of many older appraisers.
The Subject - A term police use to identify the victim of a crime.
Subject Property - A term police use to identify the belongings of a victim of a crime.
Jury - Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Trapezoid - A device for catching zoids.

This list was provided by Larry Schnepf, Mesa, AZ who been collecting them for 10 years from others and had made some up himself.